There’s a lot of talk in education about the achievement gap.

Before we deal with the achievement gap, however, we need to deal with the expectations gap. In short, teachers and students need to agree on what’s possible and what’s essential.

A few anecdotes from today:

• A student is not silent during a warm-up activity. In our private conversation afterward, the student says she understands my expectation. But she also says (1) she wasn’t speaking loudly, (2) she wasn’t hurting anyone, (3) she didn’t agree with my expectation.

• A student tells my colleague that it’s “impossible” to write three short paragraphs in 15 minutes.

• A student, in serious danger of not graduating in June, doesn’t believe me when I tell her she must attend an activity that would offer her credit. “It won’t hurt me,” she says. “I can make it up.”

In all these stories, the student disagreed with the teacher on expectations, about what’s necessary to achieve — and about what’s good enough.

Before learning can happen, everybody has to be on the same page.

In my experience, a huge part of teaching is about building trust and relationship so that students believe me. After all, too many students — especially students of color —  have had too many negative experiences with teachers — especially white teachers.

One of my biggest challenges is convincing students that I’m on their side. I might believe I’m on their side, and I might say it, and I might act on it. But my students must feel it.

They must feel that meeting my standard is possible and that it’s valuable — that it’s worth it. 

 When I was in high school, there wasn’t the expectation that teachers and students would build relationships. As a student, I went to class, did my work, and got my grade. It was the teacher’s job to teach.

That’s not the case anymore, particularly at my school.

Sure, some students do well in their classes regardless of their teacher. But for many of my students, the teacher in the room matters more than anything else.

Like and respect the teacher = I will work hard and will succeed.
Don’t like or don’t respect the teacher = I won’t work hard and won’t succeed.

My experience is that it’s my job, not the student’s, to initiate and build the teacher-student relationship. This is likely because I’m a white teacher working with all students of color. At a school that purports to challenge social inequity, I represent the unjust dominant paradigm.

While I understand this dynamic, I’m not an extrovert, so establishing and deepening a relationship with my students does not come easily. It’s clear that I care about my students, but my students need to feel that care. Sometimes, that takes a long time.

The problem is, When there are only a few more months until the AP English exam, we can’t exactly waste any time. That’s why it’s imperative that I deliberately work on a daily basis to connect with my students’ heads and hearts.

I’m making good progress, but there is much to do.